Category Humour

Finis

(A speech I made upon leaving the teaching staff of Morrinsville College, after 22 years’ teaching) Someone begged me to come to Morrinsville College, and not a lot of people know that. You will be sad/glad to hear that I shall not pass on to you at this time gems of wisdom that I have […]

Our living room

I love to close my eyes and see our living room full of people when I was the tender age of seven. Had I been able to film it, I would have captured an assortment of events to rival anything offered as ‘home entertainment’ at the DVD store today. Thin Uncle Dave has just opened his […]

Acquiring skills

‘Share and share alike’ would be one of the things we were taught when young. I found it difficult at times, but in the presence of older people it was best to comply. There were a few times when uncensored, I’d surprise myself by sharing something prompted by a spontaneous generosity from within. I’d feel […]

Quotables quotes

This is a jumble of jottings from my diary in 1997; things I heard, read or variously discovered, that I thought worthy of noting down.  “People hate those who make them feel their own inferiority.” Lord Chesterfield Jonathon Swift: “Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own; […]

Oh René!

Our present day computer knowledge-based internet age gives added impetus to our questions: Who am I? Why am I here? Where am I going? And, what happens when we die? Suggestions there are a-plenty from accountants, judges, army officers – commissioned or otherwise, mystics, assorted reverends and well-intentioned folks from flocks of faithful of every […]

The man behind the photograph

  He was very pleased that he’d followed her advice. The photograph turned out fine. Just the right angle and lighting, with the colouring and setting adding to the dignity. In the best magazine and newspapers too! A few things had worried him though. He hadn’t altered his hairstyle. Martina, his dear wife, suggested that […]

Competitors

‘Share and share alike’ was one of the things taught to us when we were young. I found it difficult at times but in the presence of older people it was best to comply. There were a few times when uncensored, I’d surprise myself by sharing something, prompted by a spontaneous surge of generosity from […]

The spinsters’ code

Across the street from our home in Pump Street, Longridge, was a pebble-dashed house in which two spinsters lived. (Swallows built their nests each year under the eaves of this house. They came in spring and left in autumn, and there was a constant swooping and diving in smooth, graceful sweeps back and forth across […]

Quite by accident

Sometimes I just hate myself. I can be so selfish. I mean, I could have stopped and offered to help Lester. I was pretty sure he’d recognised me as I drove past. When I’d checked by the rear-vision mirror, the look on his face could have stopped a clock. But it was raining. I’d had […]

Persons

This is a piece of fiction. I love noticing the odd and curious things about people. Here’s a little example: So far, I’d met a few odd characters on my door-to-door research survey on television viewing in the neighbourhood;  all different characters, in keeping with the dictionary definition I’d read earlier that day. Apparently the […]